Be Your Own Authority

We all have skills and talents. Sometimes it is hard for us to acknowledge those things that we do well. We don't like to brag. We know it is impolite to appear conceited. On the other hand, people have a need to be productive and to use their skills. Doing what we are good at allows us to be helpful to others and it helps us to gain confidence.

If this is the case, why do we find ourselves in those frustrating situations where we don't have permission to display our talents. These circumstances lead us to feel all alone and tear at our sense of confidence. We can even feel trapped in these situations. Those who have a position of stated or implied power try to maintain control by creating situations where we feel threatened when we attempt to use our skills for the good of others and ourselves.

Erich Fromm

Erich Fromm wrote about this situation in his 1947 book, Man for Himself: An Inquiry Into the Psychology of Ethics.

"The goal of humanistic conscience is productiveness and, therefore, happiness, since happiness is the necessary concomitant of productive living. To cripple oneself by becoming a tool of others, no matter how dignified they are made to appear, to be "selfless," unhappy, resigned, discouraged, is in opposition to one's conscience; any violation of the integrity and proper functioning of our personality, with regard to thinking as well as acting...is acting against one's conscience."

Here Fromm describes what he refers to as one's conscience. We usually think of conscience as that little voice in our head that reminds us to follow the rules and to tell the difference between "right" and "wrong." But who made the rules? And who decided what is "right?" What Fromm was telling us nearly 70 years ago applies today. We don't need to rely on an authority in the persona of a boss, guru, or elder to determine what is right for us.  Fromm's concept of humanistic conscience is what we determine to be our true selves and our true morals. The right action for each of us is to take those actions that allow us to be productive and reach our full potential.  What is right for me, can be different than what is right for you.

Fromm made it clear that we do not have to serve another authority figure. Being selfless in service to others is not necessarily the right thing to do. The path to feeling complete and experiencing happiness only comes from using our skills and expressing our talents, whatever they may be. Anything else brings about a sense of discouragement, frustration, and sadness.

We will find ourselves in situations where others try to control us by limiting us. They will even do their best to make us feel guilty or selfish for wanting to grow. Fromm made it clear that we must have a clear conscience when we make the right choice to become our true selves by using our skills for the betterment of ourselves and others.

Quote is from Erich Fromm's 1947 book, Man For Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics (Location 2112 in the Kindle edition)