Happiness Part 2 - Relaxing

The last blog post here discussed one route for experiencing happiness in our lives as described by psychologist, Eric Fromm. That route was focused on putting in effort to challenge ourselves with tasks, or hobbies that add value to our lives. Fromm noted his idea for another contrasting pathway to happiness in, Man For Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics.

"The other type of pleasure which is left for discussion is not based on effort but on its opposite, on relaxation; it accompanies effortless but pleasant activities. The important biological function of relaxation is that of regulating the rhythm of the organism which cannot be always active. The word "pleasure," without qualification, seems to be most appropriate to denote the kind of good feeling that results from relaxation."

Nearly 70 years ago shortly after the end of World War II, Dr. Fromm was telling people that it was OK to relax once in a while. He was a proponent of taking it easy. It seems he realized our parents and grandparents who were part of the greatest generation that struggled to win the war needed permission to slow down. 

Today many of us lead over-scheduled lives filled with exertion. We all find many demands placed on us. Technology not only keeps us tethered to our colleagues and bosses when at home, but also to our family and friends when at work. Job, family and social demands easily pull at us if we try to relax. 
I have also noticed a creeping feeling of guilt experienced by people when they do slow down. They are worried that they will be seen as lazy, or that they are letting someone down, or that someone else is getting ahead of them at school or at work. This is the experience of adolescents and adults in our culture today. We have a situation developing in our society where taking it easy brings on agitation or even a sense of stress. 

We may be at a moment in time when we need permission to relax; and not only to relax, but to actually enjoy the experience of relaxation and take pleasure in it. We need to allow ourselves to be happy when we are doing nothing that requires focused effort for a sustained length of time. This does not mean taking a nap. It means enjoying an activity that requires minimal effort which is not focused on a goal; like going for a walk without monitoring the miles or your heart rate. Or reading a novel without worrying what your book club members will think about your insights at next week's meeting. 

It is healthy to set goals and work toward them. It is equally healthy to take time to slow down, relax, and enjoy the pleasure of recharging ourselves. Resting is not being lazy. Resting is necessary to have balance in our lives and to find pleasure is simply being ourselves and enjoying the experience.

Quote is from Ethan Fromm's 1947 book, Man For Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics (Location 2508 in the Kindle edition) https://www.amazon.com/Man-Himself-Inquiry-Psychology-Ethics-ebook/dp/B00BPJOD8K/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1472839933&sr=8-8#nav-subnav